Why dogs are better than men...
Dogs always think you're smart and don't make fun of your shortcomings
Dogs are willing to sleep on a rug and fetch on command
Dogs spend less time worrying about hair loss
Old buddies don't show up on doorstep unexpectedly
Dogs are utterly disinterested in professional sports
Your parents find them easier to like
Dogs are rarely jealous of your former boyfriends
Dogs are willing to hold your purse in public
Unlikely to roll over and lose consciousness immediately following intense play
Dogs don't complain when you want to go for a walk
Dogs are willing to eat anything you put on their plate and will always want more
Dogs tend to bath themselves daily, men must be encouraged to do so
You can put a dog in a crate when you don't feel like having it around
Dogs expect to go outside on leashes... men think they can do everything on their own
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
Dogs are good with kids.
Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
Dogs understand what NO means.
Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.
Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Dogs do not read at the table.
You can house train a dog.
You can force a dog to take a bath.
Dogs don't correct your stories.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.
Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
Dogs love to dance
Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
Dogs look at your eyes.
Dogs like your size.
Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
Dogs take care of their own needs.
Dogs are color blind.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
Dogs are nice to your relatives.
Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.
Dogs don't care how you dress.
Subject: Why dogs are better than women
Date: Wed, 9 Dec 2009 17:48:32 -0800
Why dogs are better than women...
Dogs don't cry
Dogs love it when your friends come over
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
Dogs think you sing great
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink
Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
Dogs don't notice if you call them another dog's name
Dogs are excited by rough play
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair
Anyone can get a good looking dog
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
Dogs don't shop
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor
Dogs never need to examine the relationship
A dog's parents never visit
Dogs love long car trips
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions
When a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it
Dogs like beer
Dogs don't hate their bodies
Dogs never criticize
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across
Dogs never expect gifts
Dogs don't worry about germs
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've had
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives
You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry
Dogs don't borrow your shirts
Dogs never want foot rubs
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk
Dogs can't talk
Dogs seldom outlive you
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