Wednesday, December 9, 2009

RE: Why dogs are better than men

Why dogs are better than men...

Author unknown


  • Dogs always think you're smart and don't make fun of your shortcomings

  • Dogs are willing to sleep on a rug and fetch on command

  • Dogs spend less time worrying about hair loss

  • Old buddies don't show up on doorstep unexpectedly

  • Dogs are utterly disinterested in professional sports

  • Your parents find them easier to like

  • Dogs are rarely jealous of your former boyfriends

  • Dogs are willing to hold your purse in public

  • Unlikely to roll over and lose consciousness immediately following intense play

  • Dogs don't complain when you want to go for a walk

  • Dogs are willing to eat anything you put on their plate and will always want more

  • Dogs tend to bath themselves daily, men must be encouraged to do so

  • You can put a dog in a crate when you don't feel like having it around

  • Dogs expect to go outside on leashes... men think they can do everything on their own

  • Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

  • Dogs miss you when you're gone.

  • You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.

  • Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

  • Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.

  • Dogs don't criticize your friends.

  • Dogs admit when they're jealous.

  • Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

  • Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).

  • Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.

  • Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

  • You can train a dog.

  • Dogs are easy to buy for.

  • Dogs are good with kids.

  • Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.

  • You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.

  • Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.

  • The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
    (OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)

  • Dogs understand what NO means.

  • Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.

  • Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.

  • Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

  • Dogs do not read at the table.

  • You can house train a dog.

  • You can force a dog to take a bath.

  • Dogs don't correct your stories.

  • Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

  • Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.

  • Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.

  • Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.

  • Dogs love to dance

  • Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.

  • Dogs admit it when they're lost.

  • Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.

  • Dogs look at your eyes.

  • Dogs like your size.

  • Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.

  • Dogs take care of their own needs.

  • Dogs are color blind.

  • Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

  • Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

  • Dogs are nice to your relatives.

  • Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.

  • Dogs don't care how you dress.

Subject: Why dogs are better than women
Date: Wed, 9 Dec 2009 17:48:32 -0800

Why dogs are better than women...

Author unknown


  • Dogs don't cry

  • Dogs love it when your friends come over

  • Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo

  • Dogs think you sing great

  • A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink

  • Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

  • Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs

  • Dogs don't notice if you call them another dog's name

  • Dogs are excited by rough play

  • Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away

  • Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair

  • Anyone can get a good looking dog

  • If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it

  • Dogs don't shop

  • Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor

  • Dogs never need to examine the relationship

  • A dog's parents never visit

  • Dogs love long car trips

  • Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions

  • When a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it

  • Dogs like beer

  • Dogs don't hate their bodies

  • Dogs never criticize

  • Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across

  • Dogs never expect gifts

  • Dogs don't worry about germs

  • Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've had

  • Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives

  • You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day

  • Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry

  • Dogs don't borrow your shirts

  • Dogs never want foot rubs

  • Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public

  • Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk

  • Dogs can't talk

  • Dogs seldom outlive you

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